Telephobia

Your phone buzzes with an unknown number. Your heart jumps, you watch it ring out, and then you wait to see if they leave a voicemail or, better yet, send a text. If that sounds familiar, you’ve got plenty of company.

Telephobia is a fear of making or answering phone calls. It’s also called telephone phobia or telephonophobia. It’s usually thought of as a form of social anxiety, because the fear centers on being judged or saying the wrong thing. Wikipedia: Telephone phobia

Telephobia isn’t a diagnosis by itself. Speaking on the phone is one of the everyday situations the NHS lists as a common worry for people with social anxiety disorder, which is a recognized condition. NHS: Social anxiety For many people, though, phone dread is milder and never reaches that level.

Why are phone calls so stressful?

A call puts you on the spot. You can’t edit what you say, you can’t take a few minutes to think, and you can’t see the other person’s face. People who fear calls often describe some of these worries:

• not knowing who’s calling or what they want
• expecting bad news
• running out of things to say, or stumbling over words
• not understanding the other person, or being misunderstood
• being overheard by people nearby
• bothering someone by calling at a bad time

These worries are described in the Wikipedia: Telephone phobia article, which draws on books about social phobia and shyness. Some people talk easily face to face but freeze on the phone.

The missing visual cues seem to be a big part of it. A careers adviser at Nottingham College in the UK, who runs classes on phone confidence, told CNBC that many of her students are comfortable on video calls because they can read faces. On audio-only calls, she said, they worry the other person is laughing at them or judging them. CNBC

Is it a Gen Z thing?

Younger people report it more often, but it isn’t only them. A few surveys and studies give a sense of the pattern:

• In a 2023 YouGov survey of 1,025 Australians aged 18 to 26, done for the Commonwealth Bank, 49% said speaking on the phone makes them anxious. Only 1 in 10 preferred a phone call for keeping in touch with friends and family. CommBank
• A 2024 Uswitch survey of 2,000 UK adults found that almost a quarter of 18 to 34-year-olds never pick up phone calls. CNBC
• A 2024 Korean study of 640 adults aged 20 to 59 found that people in their 20s and 30s had more phone anxiety and a stronger preference for texting than people in their 40s and 50s. The authors linked this to higher social anxiety and to liking the control that texting gives. Communication Theories

These are surveys, not clinical studies. They measure how many people feel anxious about calls, not how many have a phobia. The Korean study suggests the age gap is partly about social anxiety, which can affect anyone.

Older generations aren’t immune either. Phone fear was being written about in the UK back in the 1990s, long before smartphones. Wikipedia: Telephone phobia

What can it feel like?

Take a made-up example. Imagine you need to call your doctor’s office to move an appointment. You put it off all morning. When you finally dial, your mouth goes dry and you hang up before anyone answers. You try again later, and this time you’ve written out every word on a sticky note. The call takes 90 seconds. Afterward, you replay it in your head for an hour, wondering if you sounded strange.

Physical signs can include a racing heart, sweaty palms, nausea, a dry mouth, or shaking. Wikipedia: Telephone phobia

Fear versus phobia

Preferring texts is a preference, not a problem. Plenty of people simply find calls less convenient.

Phone dread may be worth looking at more closely when:

• you avoid calls you really need to make, like to a doctor, a landlord, or a job
• you ask other people to make calls for you most of the time
• the anxiety lasts before, during, and after calls
• it’s affecting your work, health care, or relationships

The NHS describes social anxiety as a fear that doesn’t go away and affects everyday activities, work, or school, with worry before, during, and after social situations. NHS: Social anxiety Our fear versus phobia guide explains the general line between ordinary fear and a phobia.

Why might it happen?

There’s no single cause. A few things may play a part:

• less practice, since many people now text far more than they call
• a bad past experience, such as receiving shocking news by phone or an angry call
• general social anxiety, or a strong fear of being judged

Past experiences like upsetting news or an unpleasant call may play a part in creating the fear. Wikipedia: Telephone phobia The Nottingham College adviser also pointed to the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic, when many young people missed out on everyday social practice. CNBC

What can help?

Practice tends to help most. Some colleges now run phone confidence classes. At Nottingham College, students practice everyday calls, like booking a doctor’s appointment or calling in sick, sitting back to back so they can’t see each other. CNBC

Things you can try:

• write a short script or a few notes before a call, since the other person can’t see them
• make calls in a quiet, private space where you won’t be overheard
• start small, such as an automated line or a call to a friend, then work up to harder calls
• take a slow breath in, hold it, and let it out slowly before you dial

Working up from easy calls to harder ones is a common suggestion for this fear. Wikipedia: Telephone phobia

If phone fear is part of wider social anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is generally considered the best treatment. It helps you spot anxious thought patterns and change them. Guided self-help using a CBT workbook or online course is another option. NHS: Social anxiety Exposure therapy, a part of CBT, helps people gradually return to things they’ve been avoiding. NIMH

Helping someone who hates phone calls

If someone you know avoids calls, try not to tease them about it. Text first to say you’re about to call, so the ring isn’t a surprise. Leave a short voicemail that says why you called. At work, a quick heads-up and a few notes on what the call is about can make a big difference. Our guide on supporting someone with a phobia has more ideas.

When to talk to a professional

If you’re missing medical appointments, job chances, or important calls because of the fear, or if you feel anxious in many social situations, talk to a doctor or therapist. You can describe it in a sentence: “I get very anxious about phone calls and avoid them.” Our appointment preparation tool can help, and our find help page lists where to start. If the fear is mostly about being without your phone, our page on nomophobia covers that.